Murphy's Laws for photographers —

Murphy’s Laws for photographers


Light is never enough, except when it overly much.

The sun shines on the wrong side.

You always want to move a little shadow

light does not happen, except in the case. ended when the flash drive, battery.

When shooting a series of flash on the right frame flash does not highlight.

If the flash highlights, it is not as it should.

If you set the light from the sun – there is a cloud.

If you set the WB – the color of the lighting change.

If you shoot in a complex world (well, for example – the daylight from the window + + fluorescent lamps incandescent bulbs) – that is the best on the composition frame is almost impossible to get to the light.

If you do not have a diffuser for the flash – the ceiling and walls are always colored.

If you are with all the accessories for the flash – ran out of batteries (spare set either at home or discharged).

the lens is always the wrong color.

It’s become clear only after the photo shoot looking photos.

2. Technique.

Flash card and battery end exactly one frame before the masterpiece!

The best scenes in front of you – when the camera stayed home.

ISO is checked after a series of portraits (of course set 1600+).

Shoot luxury street scene, pulls the stick out of his pocket.

Autofocus always brake! (True, this SLR much better)

Auto white balance is always lying on the most valuable staff.

A tripod is not fixed one leg and in the process of shooting night for a couple of minutes exposure he decides to go to sleep.

After photographing appeared from behind a bush elk, open the lens cover.

In the replacement set for the flash at the right time is lost battery

In batch processing portrait pose strong Sharpe and winter landscape with crackling twigs – Blue Rush.

Received from the camera with the lens repair, check it on a different lens, and after half an hour of closing a repair service, it turns out that the camera lens, deposited with a camera died.

After the oath of service chief that tomorrow everything will be ready – held a couple of months, and the service a couple of times change address

Camera breaks in the same evening, as brought out repairs with the same diagnosis.

For warranty repairs in the service (sending only a week in one direction) it turns out that after making one, completely spoiled something else.

In the process of sophisticated print in the bathroom at the time of sending the paper in the developer, someone turns on the light for a second.

The most expensive photo paper is all illuminated.

Available from the same point 4 with removable heads tripods – all heads are not interchangeable.

The most expensive filter is not used at all.

If you ask someone to take a picture of the photographer and give it into the hands of the camera, the photographer is pictured without a head.

If your camera is attached telephoto lens, then something interesting will be very close. Similarly, when the wide-angle photographic lenses – something very interesting going away.

If you do not have a macro lens or macro rings – then such luxury flowers, insects caught

tripod, take a hike, not useful … Tripod, forgotten at home, you need every time.

Stand the machine on which the outbreak of the most expensive lens falls!

When shooting with the zoom range is not always enough

Printer and monitor color lie. Always. But every time a new way. As a result, the imprint is always not what you want.

Paint in the printer is out at the moment when it is necessary to urgently print the photo of the person with whom are extremely rare.

Unique photo printed waterproof, ink, someone will dampen or lick.

A cat can overload (off) computer at the most inopportune moment.

The number of megapixels in the camera is always greater than the lens allows.

Too much to handle, transfer and noise. And little offensively when printing landscape and crop.

Replacing the camera or the camera lens into 2 classes above, you know that the new, solving old problems, creating a lot of new, which was not even suspected.

If the batteries in the camera is not enough for photoset buy extras – here’s replacement never comes in handy. And if you still need, it is uncharged.

3. photographies.

For group picture there is always someone who yawns and closed his eyes.

If no one yawns, then someone sneezes.

Thoroughly cleaned child at the time of shooting smeared something, for example chocolate.

If you decide to capture beautifully attractive face smeared by chocolate, then by the time you press the button, wee wipe attractive face the most prominent part of the clothing or the situation.

Bird (or animal) is always ready to sit down before attempting to remove the lens cap. Most loyal to wait until the camera is ready to shoot and immediately disappear.

During the photo shoot, the combination model is ready, ready photographer preparedness equipment and premises – is almost a miracle.

At the photo shoot model comes in clothes, not in harmony with the environment (option – with makeup strange glowing light from the flash).

When shooting a model outdoors, the number of mosquitoes midges exceeds all reasonable limits.

Best shots on photoset – the earliest and most recent, taken at random, rather than carefully constructed frame.

If you take with you protection from rain, it will be dry. If the umbrella (cover) at home, then the rain.

When going to a lot of people on the collective photoset, not the people come and do not in designated time.

Plan time to photoset impossible!

Someone tries to sit on the trunk.

At this point in the coffer to be the most fragile parts.

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